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6 Ways to Tolerate People Who Bother You 

Did someone instantly come to mind as soon as you read that? I'm sure all of us have been subject to someone like that at least once in our lives. It's okay when we have to face them just once or twice, but there are times when these people appear in certain situations of our life where we have to deal with them on an ongoing basis. You have to try and learn how to deal with them if they are going to be present in your life.

1. You can only change yourself.

When dealing with people, remember that it's not about changing others, but about changing yourself. You can try really hard to change other people, but you probably won't succeed. The best way to address the situation is to change how you perceive it and how you react to it. By changing that, everything else will slowly change as well. When this person is your complete opposite, you sometimes can't understand why they are not like you because you like how you live your life. Every person is different but if you really don't like their lifestyle behaviors, their behavior in general, or how they treat you, then try your best to not put yourself in a situation where you have to be with that person for too long.

2. Draw your boundaries 

Be clear on what you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate. Stick with it. You have your own personal space and it's your choice to protect your space. By drawing these boundaries, even if it's just mentally, you are clearer of the kind of behaviors to expect from others. If you don't do that, it's easy for you to be pushed over by others, especially since people tend to not be conscious of personal boundaries. You'll wind up feeling like what you say doesn't matter and you wouldn't want that. For example, if this person says things that offend you but says them repeatedly, let them know. If you don't they will keep saying those things. If they do things around you that you are against, let them know and if they respect you as a person they won't engage in those activities around you.

3. Be upfront about where you stand

People aren't mind readers and sometimes they may not be aware that what they are doing is effecting you negatively. Giving the person some indicators will help. If the person does not get the hint then make a call and draw the line right there. If they do know it bothers you and they keep doing it, then they are just plain rude. They obviously don't find you important enough to take a time out from that behavior.

4. Ignore them

Sometimes that is easier said then done. However, ignoring is effective in the right moments. When you respond, you give them a reason to continue their behavior. If you just ignore them, they don't have a choice but to seek out someone else. Not only that, but it also hints to them that their behavior is something you don't want to deal with and they may take time to think about their actions. 

5. Don't take it personally

Most of the time, these people behave the same way around others too. I have friends who are negative. For example, I know someone who has something to criticize whenever we are together. At first I thought she had something against me, but after I observed her interacting with our common friends, I realized she was like that with everyone else too. Realizing it wasn’t anything personal helped me deal with her objectively. This brings me back to number 4; I just ignore her.

6. Help them

Beneath their appearance is really a cry for help. Check with them if they need any help, or if there is anything you can do to help them. Sometimes, it’s possible they require help but they don’t know how to articulate it. Help them to uncover their problem, then work with them to analyze the issue and discover the solution. Some people act out as a way to get attention from others.A lot of those people think their behavior is funny and entertaining when really it's mildly embarrassing and flat out annoying. Take it down a notch, we're trying to enjoy ourselves not go home early with a headache.

Love & Pink,

Lisa

Go With Your Own Glow :)

The danger of tanning 101...

Melanoma, the deadliest form of cancer, is also the second most common form of cancer for women between fifteen and thirty, a statistic we can attribute to the societal pressure teenage girls and young women face to look tan. Not only are we bombarded with images of celebrities who have developed a deep bronze due to unhealthy intakes of sun, we're told that it's normal or a "healthy glow". What is described as a "healthy glow", is anything but. Melanoma cases in young women have increased fifty percent since the 1980s. Why are women and girls actively engaging in an activity that has been proved cancerous? 

Cosmo has been covering the dangers of tanning beds as part of their ongoing Practice Safe Sun Campaign. Here are some questions that were asked to Tanning Salon Operators in regards to dangers of tanning:

COSMO: “Does indoor tanning cause cancer?”

TRUTH: Yes. But They Said:

• “Any of the studies that find any significant link at all are with people of a skin type who should not be in the sun at all—living far north and not getting much sunlight. That’s not any of us.”

• “The dermatology association is in bed with big companies to promote their product: sunscreen. You really don’t have anything to worry about.”

COSMO: “Can I get a safe tan inside a tanning bed?”

TRUTH: No. But They Said:

• “I recommend this lotion if you’re afraid you’ll burn. It’s thick, and it’ll protect you from burning.”

• “This [lotion] will help you tan better, and it has moisturizer so you won’t burn. This has very little SPF because the bed itself has SPF already. You don’t need to worry.”

They also called some of the top dermatologists in the country to get their take. “There’s no longer any debate about UV radiation causing cancer,” explains David J. Leffell, MD, professor of dermatology and surgery at the Yale School of Medicine. “Any attempt to obscure this is dishonest, ignorant, or both. The indoor-tanning industry is misstating the facts for its own gain.”

I have very light colored skin and I always wished that I would get super tan or have naturally bronzed skin but it's very hard for me to get color so I use sunless tanner (which surprisingly works because not a lot of people know that I use it and always comment on how natural my skin color looks after hearing that so it works!) There are literally hundreds of different brands of sunless tanner and they really do work. (It takes some practice to master the no streaking technique but practice makes perfect!) When I do lay out in the sun during summer, I use sun block non-stop (usually SPF 50), and I don't sit out for too long. Obviously we can all still lay out and have fun in the sun, but the point is to be smart about it. No one is telling you to hibernate inside during the summer but just think about your future. You might achieve that gorgeous bronzed body now from all of that tanning you are doing, but what about later when you visit the skin doctor after noticing something on your body and it is potentially harmful? It is not a risk that you should be willing to take. Just like everything else, there will always be people who do unhealthy habits 24/7 and never ever have anything bad happen to them, those who do unhealthy habits 24/7 and have bad things happen to them, those who rarely engage in unhealthy habits and have bad things happen to them, those who never do any unhealthy habits and unfortunately still have bad things happen to them, and those lucky people who never ever engage in an unhealthy habit and go through life without anything bad happening to them. No one can predict the future but there are ways to help make sure that you stay on the path of a healthy adulthood! 

Ladies -- Practice safe sun!

Here are some questions for you:

1. Have you ever had a skin-cancer scare, or do you have a friend or family member who has?

2. Have you ever been concerned about the risks?

3. Have you ever asked about safety at a salon and been reassured that it’s ok?

4. Does this change the way you think about going to tanning salons?

Unfortunately I do know people in my life who I love an incredible amount who have been affected by this and I am going to do my best to protect myself. If you know that you can prevent something that has been proven to cause health risks, why wouldn't you? Years ago it was fashionable to be pale, it might not be like that today, but I guess I'll just keep embracing my pale skin because this is who I am and I wouldn't have it any other way! With all of this knowledge, we should be able to put trends behind us and go with our own glow.

Love & Pink,

Lisa

Pretty Girl Rock ; SoBeR

Once the weekend rolls around, everyone is ready and anxious to let loose. After spending countless hours primping and priming for a night out, you mix your first drink and your second, and your third. You dance the night away to Ke$ha and take advantage of the bar deals until you've lost count of the drinks you've had and you're soon visiting your cupboards for some Easy Mac. 

You are excited about a night out on the town; your worries wither away and nothing else matters but the party. But the worries will come back and sometimes, so will your dinner. April was Alcohol Awareness Month, and even though a few months have passed, I thought it would still be a good time to point out some of the things you may not be thinking about between taking endless shots and joining in the next round of drinking games. You have one mission: to have fun. It is hard sometimes to remember the cost of throwing a few back. We've all heard the line "the alcohol made me do it". People can still control their behavior when under the influence. That can't be your excuse for being an embarrassment to yourself and the people around you. In short, bad behavior isn't the fault of the alcohol; but of the person.

We drink a lot of Cheeseburgers

Did you know you have to walk the entire length of a football field to burn off the calories for one M&M? ONE! Now consider this even further: what if you could compare how many cheeseburgers you drank last night? Well you can, on an e-chug survey. Through this survey, you can document your drinking habits and find out how many cheeseburgers you "drink" in a given month. For example, 8 standard drinks in one month is equivalent to 4 cheeseburgers. To burn that off? You would have to run 10 minute miles for 2 hours and 27 minutes.

We drink a lot of money

If you spend even $20.00 a week on drinks, how much is that in an entire year? That is $1,040.00. Um whoa. You could have nearly 1,000 iTunes downloads, a brand new Louis Vuitton Purse, or you could go on a vacation! Can you imagine how many bills you could have paid with that cash money?

We drink a lot of sleep

When you take part in a night of drinking, you sometimes wake up and can't fall back asleep. It is pretty safe to say that alcohol and sleeping do not go well together. While alcohol decreases the time it takes to fall asleep, it disrupts the second half of the sleep period. This makes sense since after a night of drinking, most people feel like terrible drivers, (meaning the next day...drinking and driving is not even an option) unproductive, crabby, and exhausted. I'm confident in the fact that I don't know anyone who likes being hung- over.

We drink a lot of time

Quite literally, think of all the time you have spent drunk. Think of all the sober time you can spend with your friends shopping (always productive), or trying out new restaurants. Let's say the average person is drunk (and awake) at least 5 hours a week. That is about 180 hours a year; DRUNK. That is a lot of valuable time you could have been visiting new places, applying for jobs, etc. It's pretty simple; getting wasted wastes a lot of time. 

Many people who know me know that I do not drink ever and assume I do because I always have SO much fun when I go out on the weekends and I am always the first one on the dance floor. Dancing all night and having fun does not equal being a mess in a dress. Being sober is not a bad thing and it's ok to not be drinking even if everyone is. I'm pretty sure we all learned how to say "no" way back in the day. There are so many things I do with my time instead of drinking. These are activities that are fun and require you to be sober. They also make for better stories than those drunken nights filled with useless drama. I value my amazing life and will continue living my life with the idea that you never know what tomorrow brings so why keep having those crazy drunk nights when you won't even remember them the next day? Sober people are sexy. Be above the influence.

Love & Pink,

Lisa

The best accessory a girl can own is confidence

One of the worst dynamics that can kill a friendship is jealousy. If one friend is jealous of the other, it inevitably can ruin the friendship, or at least negatively impact it. Sometimes, however, when a friend is jealous, and they don’t want it to show, it can come out in very strange ways that may not seem obvious to the casual observer.  In order to help you identify jealousy in your friendship, here are some examples to look for:

1. The Fluff-Off: You tell your friend some good news and instead of reacting joyfully for you, your friend fluffs it off and makes it seem as though it is not a big deal. When people don’t feel good about where they are in their own lives, they make themselves feel better by acting as though other people’s good fortune isn’t so great or exciting.
2. The Friendly Ghost: When individuals are jealous, they may feel less inclined to spend time with those individuals who are happy or doing well, and as a result, disappear or become extremely busy. Why? Your happiness is a constant reminder that they are unhappy and as a result, they rather stay away.
3. Positive Negative: When some individuals are jealous, they may find a way to counteract your positive with a negative way.  This is similar to the fluff-off, but instead of ignoring your positive news or accomplishment, your friend counters it with a negative. For instance, if you show a friend a beautiful picture you took of yourself, your friend may say, “Well, of course the picture is good: you had good lighting and a good camera.” Her reaction implies, in a sense, that the picture was good, not because of you, but for other reasons.
4. Insincere Happiness: If someone knows that they are jealous, they may try to over compensate by putting on a huge grin and acting overly happy. Unfortunately, what your friend doesn’t realize is that this type of behavior seems very unnatural and insecure.
5. Tears You Down: You decide that you are ready for a night out and feel beautiful. Instead of being happy for you, your friend tells you that you should change and you don’t look as good as you think. If your friend constantly makes you feel bad about your physical appearance, they may be doing so to feel better about their own physical appearance and about themselves.
6. Lack of Support: This is demonstrated when you rely on friends to help you achieve something that is important to you and they fall extremely short in delivering. They can either come up with every excuse in the book as to why they can’t help you, or worse, they promise to help but don’t.
7. Constant Discouragement: This happens when your friend tells you all of the reasons why you shouldn’t or CAN’T do something, instead of encouraging you to “go for it.” It also happens when you have something that they want whether its a relationship, an amazing family, or overall a great life.

In general, if every time you succeed at something or have good news and your friend acts distant, strangely or dismissive, it might mean that they are jealous. Or, if you find it awkward or difficult to talk to your friend about things that make you happy or that you’re involved with, it might mean that you don’t think they can accept your happiness.  It is important, however, to remember that if you are experiencing any of these behaviors or traits in your friendship, it doesn't mean the friendship is over but you may need to re-evaluate things.

Does jealousy exist in your friendships? How have you handled it? What was the outcome?

 Love & Pink,

Lisa

Reality Check

If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and some spare change, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week. 

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, torture, or starvation, you are luckier than 500 million people alive and suffering. 

If you can read this, you are more fortunate than 3 billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

I posted this to remind everyone to cherish every moment, be thankful with what you have, and love the people you have in your life :) 

Love & Pink,
Lisa

Step to the beat of my heart

1. “If you want to leave her, leave her breathless. If you want to lie, lie next to her. If you want to let go, let go of your pride and pursue her."

2. "We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. 

So are regrets." 

3. "Never love somebody who treats you like you're ordinary."  

4. "Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have."

5. "Sometimes your heart knows things your mind can't explain."

6. "She knows nothing about life, but she knows everything about living."

7. "Love isn't supposed to be easy, it's just supposed to be worth it." 

8. "You have to learn the rules of the game, then play it better 

than everyone else."

Love & Pink, 

Lisa

Forget about everyone else -- Embrace YOU

In today’s society, it’s hard to be perfect when outlandish images of flawlessness are everywhere. Singers, actresses and even our favorite bloggers conveniently have everything that we don’t. So do a lot of people even in our innermost circles. Instead of embracing our flaws and appreciating the redeeming qualities we have, we compare and contrast ourselves with anyone who’s “better.” 

Why? Why is it so hard to believe that we’re as talented and fabulous as the next person? And why should we let someone else deter our own progress? There’s nothing wrong with competition because it heightens our self-motivation. But when the comparison eats you up on the inside, it becomes a problem.

It’s no secret that many girls long to be desirable. We spend money on our hair, nails and clothes all of the time; there are billion-dollar industries dedicated to fashion and beauty. But what about the factors underneath the fabulous exterior? Confidence should stem from your most redeeming qualities—your ability to help others, your drive for success. I’m sure many Hollywood plastic surgeons would disagree, but beauty fades. Think about what will happen when your highlights fade, when you remove your foundation and if you gained a few pounds. Would you still have anything to be confident about?

Everyone doubts themselves! But there’s no reason to be insecure if you’re secure in knowing who you are.

“I will never be the  woman with the perfect hair who wears white and does not spill on it and chairs committees and writes thank you notes, and I can’t feel bad about that” Carrie said at the end of Sex and the City

Everything you’re not makes you unique. Embracing your flaws and appreciating the qualities that you do have will make life so much easier. 

 

 

Love & Pink, 

Lisa

Fabulous Friendship

Today I decided to write about someone who let me know that I was an inspiration to them when in fact, they are truly an inspiration to me as well. There are those few people in life that you really feel like you’ve known your entire life and who knows every little detail about you and still loves you for you. It’s very hard to get close to someone because you want to find trust in them before you break down your walls. A special person makes you see that you are instantly a part of their life from now until forever. Those people don’t come around very often and when you do find someone like that, you want to hold on very tight and never let go of them.

If you can count on one of your hands with just one finger the best friends you have in your life, you are a lot luckier than most. To have even one best friend is an incredible thing. If you have more than that, that’s great too. I am so lucky to have a best friend who understands me. She is someone who sees the good in me and pushes me to follow my heart with any obstacle that may come my way. She has overcome many difficult obstacles in her own life and it has shown me how strong of a person she really is. She does not give up and finds positivity in negative situations. I already have two sisters and she feels like my third. She is beautiful inside and out and most importantly always makes me laugh. Life without laughter is a boring life and who wants that? We have taught each other that it’s ok to make a mistake and that no one is perfect, if you want something done you have to do it yourself, you can’t let others bring you down, and if there is something that you really want in life; it can be yours. 

Now let’s think about what defines a best friend. Then think of your best friend/friends and see if they fall under those categories:

-Someone who is always there for you no matter what, not just when it’s convenient for them

-Someone who is an amazing listener, who sometimes doesn’t even need to say anything back but it felt like the best conversation in the world

-Someone who supports you with any decision that you make or path you may take

-Someone who makes you laugh and smile at all times

-Someone who is genuine and truly cares about you

-Someone who teaches you things about life that make you want to be a better person

-Someone you can confide in and you know that your secret is ALWAYS safe with them

-Someone who no matter what you are doing, if you’re together, it’s the best day ever 

Each one applies to my best friend so I know I am very lucky to have her in my life. This is my wish for her: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to reach your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits are low, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, & love to complete your life.

Love & Pink,
Lisa 

Four Letters with a huge meaning (LOVE)

Being in love with someone completely changes your life. It’s a feeling that cannot be explained even if you try really really hard. There are not enough words in the world to describe the special bond that the two people have. I know about love because I have grown up surrounded with so much love and it is absolutely incredible. I feel so lucky to have such an amazing family who supports me with everything in life and is always there for me no matter what. They wouldn’t have me any other way. My family is very unique compared to other families. We truly are all best friends and we would all do absolutely anything for each other. Then to find a guy who thinks I’m the most beautiful girl in the world is the best feeling in the world. He prefers me with no makeup on and loves my hair curly even though I love straightening it. Everything that I see as a flaw in myself he sees as beautiful. I am far from perfect but I have never felt so happy and positive than I do with him around me. Of course physical attraction is very important when you’re with someone (and there’s lots of that goin on) but when you have much more than that; you know that it’s real. We have an amazing emotional connection and both have taught each other so many new things about life and about ourselves. We will always have eachother’s backs and no matter what we always tell each other the truth. There are no secrets in this relationship, and if something is wrong we communicate. Being in love is a unique experience that all humans should undergo. He is one of the only people outside of my family that has completely changed my life. I have gone through some very difficult times in the past, and he stuck by my side. He made me see that I can do anything I put my mind to and that I am a strong, smart, and passionate girl and the sky is the limit. I wish that one day every single person has someone like this in their life because he is my rock. I never imagined that my best friend would be a guy let alone my boyfriend of now almost four years. I cherish every single moment together and I am extremely excited to see what’s in store for us in the future. I still get butterflies in my tummy when I see him and hearing the words “I love you” will never ever get old. 

 Love & Pink,

Lisa

Give me EvErYtHiNg

1. "She's anything but typical. She's so unpredictable. But even at her worst, she's not that bad."

2. "Love will turn your world completely upside down. There's the physical stuff - your cheeks getting hot, the flutters in your stomach. And then there's the mental madness - you feel like you're losing your mind because all you can think about is the way they smell, how good it feels when they put their arms around you, or the cute little dimple they get when they smile. When you're with them, there's no other place you'd rather be; when you're not, you can barely wait until you see them again. Love is a total high - better than eating chocolate, acing a test, or scoring the winning goal."

3. "You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter."

                                                                   

4. "There are just certain things in life that are better off unknown, things you wish you never asked, never saw, never heard, and never felt.' 

5. "If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author & everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page."

6. "I make mistakes, & gain from them on my own. Experience is my best teacher. Always was, always will be."

Love & Pink,
Lisa

Would you rather have a million dollars or a perfect body?

In our consumer culture, money is everything and everybody wants it; a lot of it. According to a recent poll (about 2 weeks ago), it looks like money may not be people's top priority anymore.

According to the newscasters on CNN, when people were asked whether they'd rather have a million dollars or a perfect body, over 20% of people chose the perfect body. Pretty crazy right?

To me, the answer seems obvious. It's all about the money. Even if you didn't have the perfect body, with all that money you could easily look up the best plastic surgeon in Hollywood and buy yourself a perfect bod, just ask Heidi Montag! Not to mention, you'd still have tons of money leftover. (Kidding, everybody is beautiful in their own special way and you shouldn't waste your time wishing you looked like someone else!)

Then again, it's crazy how obsessed our culture has become with achieving the perfect body. Every time you turn on the TV or open a magazine, there's an ad for some new weight loss pill or some new celebrity workout DVD. Most people do not look like that in real life people! Only a very small percentage do, so it's crazy to compare ourselves to them. I love the body I was given and at times do I wish it was a little easier to lose some weight, yes. Am I going to beat myself up over that and miss out on enjoying my life and living in the moment happy, no! 

So if a genie popped out of nowhere and offered you one or the other, which would you choose: one million bucks or the perfect body you've always wanted?

Love & Pink,

Lisa

3 Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem

Let’s face it: your quality of life is somewhat contingent on how you view yourself. Life seems rosier and more feasible when you believe you can face it head on; by that same token, when you lack confidence in yourself, otherwise simple tasks may seem insurmountable.

 However, feeling good about oneself is easier said than done. On any given day, an individual person may be exposed to at least 500 advertisements, many of which propound messages on how to be beautiful, successful, and likable in today’s society. While there’s little that can be done about the messages themselves, we can change how we choose to receive them and, more importantly, how we view ourselves. Try these three ideas to improve your self-esteem:

1. Take note of what you want and what you need — and act accordingly.

One of the most crippling aspects of low self-esteem is the negative belief system that goes along with it. Thoughts like, “I’m so unattractive,” or “I can’t do anything right.” You think you will not succeed, then you either don’t succeed or write off your success, and then you find your beliefs justified.

When you stop thinking about what you may or may not “deserve” and start thinking of what you want or need, then you start to see without these cognitive blinders. For instance, if you feel you do not deserve a raise at work for whatever reason, you are unlikely to obtain one. However, if you see situations objectively and recognize your hard work to see that you’ve earned it, your view can shift dramatically. When you stop placing value judgments and instead look at situations for what they are, you begin shedding these negative self-appraisals.

  

2. Create a positive environment.

When I feel poorly about or lack confidence in myself, I make an extra effort to look particularly nice. Fashion is important to all of us, so I am sure I am preaching to the choir when I say that dressing well offers an ego boost on the most difficult and trying of days.

There is more that goes into cultivating positive energy than just dressing well. Surrounding yourself with positive people is an important factor in feeling good. But other people aren’t the only thing that plays a hand; your thoughts and words also contribute to your environment. By being aware of negative perceptions and choosing to stop thinking them or adjust them accordingly, you help contribute to building a positive environment in which positive self-esteem can flourish.

3. Give yourself rewards, regardless of whether you “deserve” them or not.

I loved my time in college, but as a graduate two years later, I recognize that one of the worst “skills” I learned was how to reward myself. A new pair of shoes if I earned an A on a midterm or a muffin if I trudged through an insufferable textbook were both incentives I dangled in front of myself to keep going. This was all well and good when slogging through the tedious academic mire, but this rewards system can encourage unhealthy behavior when applied to other areas of life.

So why is this so bad? It’s because over time, using a rewards system suggests that you need to “deserve” nice things in order to have them. Or if you do let yourself have nice things, then you start feeling an inkling of guilt tickling in the back of your mind. What a terrible mindset to live in! The finer things in life should not always be the reward for hard work. Using a rewards system is an effective approach to monotonous tasks — and so long as you don’t overdo it. But if you still feel you need to “deserve” the things you want, then start rewarding yourself for things that really count instead of only accomplishments (i.e. being a good friend, having a good sense of humor, etc.).

Love & Pink,

Lisa