The best accessory a girl can own is confidence

One of the worst dynamics that can kill a friendship is jealousy. If one friend is jealous of the other, it inevitably can ruin the friendship, or at least negatively impact it. Sometimes, however, when a friend is jealous, and they don’t want it to show, it can come out in very strange ways that may not seem obvious to the casual observer.  In order to help you identify jealousy in your friendship, here are some examples to look for:

1. The Fluff-Off: You tell your friend some good news and instead of reacting joyfully for you, your friend fluffs it off and makes it seem as though it is not a big deal. When people don’t feel good about where they are in their own lives, they make themselves feel better by acting as though other people’s good fortune isn’t so great or exciting.
2. The Friendly Ghost: When individuals are jealous, they may feel less inclined to spend time with those individuals who are happy or doing well, and as a result, disappear or become extremely busy. Why? Your happiness is a constant reminder that they are unhappy and as a result, they rather stay away.
3. Positive Negative: When some individuals are jealous, they may find a way to counteract your positive with a negative way.  This is similar to the fluff-off, but instead of ignoring your positive news or accomplishment, your friend counters it with a negative. For instance, if you show a friend a beautiful picture you took of yourself, your friend may say, “Well, of course the picture is good: you had good lighting and a good camera.” Her reaction implies, in a sense, that the picture was good, not because of you, but for other reasons.
4. Insincere Happiness: If someone knows that they are jealous, they may try to over compensate by putting on a huge grin and acting overly happy. Unfortunately, what your friend doesn’t realize is that this type of behavior seems very unnatural and insecure.
5. Tears You Down: You decide that you are ready for a night out and feel beautiful. Instead of being happy for you, your friend tells you that you should change and you don’t look as good as you think. If your friend constantly makes you feel bad about your physical appearance, they may be doing so to feel better about their own physical appearance and about themselves.
6. Lack of Support: This is demonstrated when you rely on friends to help you achieve something that is important to you and they fall extremely short in delivering. They can either come up with every excuse in the book as to why they can’t help you, or worse, they promise to help but don’t.
7. Constant Discouragement: This happens when your friend tells you all of the reasons why you shouldn’t or CAN’T do something, instead of encouraging you to “go for it.” It also happens when you have something that they want whether its a relationship, an amazing family, or overall a great life.

In general, if every time you succeed at something or have good news and your friend acts distant, strangely or dismissive, it might mean that they are jealous. Or, if you find it awkward or difficult to talk to your friend about things that make you happy or that you’re involved with, it might mean that you don’t think they can accept your happiness.  It is important, however, to remember that if you are experiencing any of these behaviors or traits in your friendship, it doesn't mean the friendship is over but you may need to re-evaluate things.

Does jealousy exist in your friendships? How have you handled it? What was the outcome?

 Love & Pink,

Lisa