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6 Ways to Tolerate People Who Bother You 

Did someone instantly come to mind as soon as you read that? I'm sure all of us have been subject to someone like that at least once in our lives. It's okay when we have to face them just once or twice, but there are times when these people appear in certain situations of our life where we have to deal with them on an ongoing basis. You have to try and learn how to deal with them if they are going to be present in your life.

1. You can only change yourself.

When dealing with people, remember that it's not about changing others, but about changing yourself. You can try really hard to change other people, but you probably won't succeed. The best way to address the situation is to change how you perceive it and how you react to it. By changing that, everything else will slowly change as well. When this person is your complete opposite, you sometimes can't understand why they are not like you because you like how you live your life. Every person is different but if you really don't like their lifestyle behaviors, their behavior in general, or how they treat you, then try your best to not put yourself in a situation where you have to be with that person for too long.

2. Draw your boundaries 

Be clear on what you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate. Stick with it. You have your own personal space and it's your choice to protect your space. By drawing these boundaries, even if it's just mentally, you are clearer of the kind of behaviors to expect from others. If you don't do that, it's easy for you to be pushed over by others, especially since people tend to not be conscious of personal boundaries. You'll wind up feeling like what you say doesn't matter and you wouldn't want that. For example, if this person says things that offend you but says them repeatedly, let them know. If you don't they will keep saying those things. If they do things around you that you are against, let them know and if they respect you as a person they won't engage in those activities around you.

3. Be upfront about where you stand

People aren't mind readers and sometimes they may not be aware that what they are doing is effecting you negatively. Giving the person some indicators will help. If the person does not get the hint then make a call and draw the line right there. If they do know it bothers you and they keep doing it, then they are just plain rude. They obviously don't find you important enough to take a time out from that behavior.

4. Ignore them

Sometimes that is easier said then done. However, ignoring is effective in the right moments. When you respond, you give them a reason to continue their behavior. If you just ignore them, they don't have a choice but to seek out someone else. Not only that, but it also hints to them that their behavior is something you don't want to deal with and they may take time to think about their actions. 

5. Don't take it personally

Most of the time, these people behave the same way around others too. I have friends who are negative. For example, I know someone who has something to criticize whenever we are together. At first I thought she had something against me, but after I observed her interacting with our common friends, I realized she was like that with everyone else too. Realizing it wasn’t anything personal helped me deal with her objectively. This brings me back to number 4; I just ignore her.

6. Help them

Beneath their appearance is really a cry for help. Check with them if they need any help, or if there is anything you can do to help them. Sometimes, it’s possible they require help but they don’t know how to articulate it. Help them to uncover their problem, then work with them to analyze the issue and discover the solution. Some people act out as a way to get attention from others.A lot of those people think their behavior is funny and entertaining when really it's mildly embarrassing and flat out annoying. Take it down a notch, we're trying to enjoy ourselves not go home early with a headache.

Love & Pink,

Lisa

Go With Your Own Glow :)

The danger of tanning 101...

Melanoma, the deadliest form of cancer, is also the second most common form of cancer for women between fifteen and thirty, a statistic we can attribute to the societal pressure teenage girls and young women face to look tan. Not only are we bombarded with images of celebrities who have developed a deep bronze due to unhealthy intakes of sun, we're told that it's normal or a "healthy glow". What is described as a "healthy glow", is anything but. Melanoma cases in young women have increased fifty percent since the 1980s. Why are women and girls actively engaging in an activity that has been proved cancerous? 

Cosmo has been covering the dangers of tanning beds as part of their ongoing Practice Safe Sun Campaign. Here are some questions that were asked to Tanning Salon Operators in regards to dangers of tanning:

COSMO: “Does indoor tanning cause cancer?”

TRUTH: Yes. But They Said:

• “Any of the studies that find any significant link at all are with people of a skin type who should not be in the sun at all—living far north and not getting much sunlight. That’s not any of us.”

• “The dermatology association is in bed with big companies to promote their product: sunscreen. You really don’t have anything to worry about.”

COSMO: “Can I get a safe tan inside a tanning bed?”

TRUTH: No. But They Said:

• “I recommend this lotion if you’re afraid you’ll burn. It’s thick, and it’ll protect you from burning.”

• “This [lotion] will help you tan better, and it has moisturizer so you won’t burn. This has very little SPF because the bed itself has SPF already. You don’t need to worry.”

They also called some of the top dermatologists in the country to get their take. “There’s no longer any debate about UV radiation causing cancer,” explains David J. Leffell, MD, professor of dermatology and surgery at the Yale School of Medicine. “Any attempt to obscure this is dishonest, ignorant, or both. The indoor-tanning industry is misstating the facts for its own gain.”

I have very light colored skin and I always wished that I would get super tan or have naturally bronzed skin but it's very hard for me to get color so I use sunless tanner (which surprisingly works because not a lot of people know that I use it and always comment on how natural my skin color looks after hearing that so it works!) There are literally hundreds of different brands of sunless tanner and they really do work. (It takes some practice to master the no streaking technique but practice makes perfect!) When I do lay out in the sun during summer, I use sun block non-stop (usually SPF 50), and I don't sit out for too long. Obviously we can all still lay out and have fun in the sun, but the point is to be smart about it. No one is telling you to hibernate inside during the summer but just think about your future. You might achieve that gorgeous bronzed body now from all of that tanning you are doing, but what about later when you visit the skin doctor after noticing something on your body and it is potentially harmful? It is not a risk that you should be willing to take. Just like everything else, there will always be people who do unhealthy habits 24/7 and never ever have anything bad happen to them, those who do unhealthy habits 24/7 and have bad things happen to them, those who rarely engage in unhealthy habits and have bad things happen to them, those who never do any unhealthy habits and unfortunately still have bad things happen to them, and those lucky people who never ever engage in an unhealthy habit and go through life without anything bad happening to them. No one can predict the future but there are ways to help make sure that you stay on the path of a healthy adulthood! 

Ladies -- Practice safe sun!

Here are some questions for you:

1. Have you ever had a skin-cancer scare, or do you have a friend or family member who has?

2. Have you ever been concerned about the risks?

3. Have you ever asked about safety at a salon and been reassured that it’s ok?

4. Does this change the way you think about going to tanning salons?

Unfortunately I do know people in my life who I love an incredible amount who have been affected by this and I am going to do my best to protect myself. If you know that you can prevent something that has been proven to cause health risks, why wouldn't you? Years ago it was fashionable to be pale, it might not be like that today, but I guess I'll just keep embracing my pale skin because this is who I am and I wouldn't have it any other way! With all of this knowledge, we should be able to put trends behind us and go with our own glow.

Love & Pink,

Lisa