6 Ways to Tolerate People Who Bother You
Did someone instantly come to mind as soon as you read that? I'm sure all of us have been subject to someone like that at least once in our lives. It's okay when we have to face them just once or twice, but there are times when these people appear in certain situations of our life where we have to deal with them on an ongoing basis. You have to try and learn how to deal with them if they are going to be present in your life.
1. You can only change yourself.
When dealing with people, remember that it's not about changing others, but about changing yourself. You can try really hard to change other people, but you probably won't succeed. The best way to address the situation is to change how you perceive it and how you react to it. By changing that, everything else will slowly change as well. When this person is your complete opposite, you sometimes can't understand why they are not like you because you like how you live your life. Every person is different but if you really don't like their lifestyle behaviors, their behavior in general, or how they treat you, then try your best to not put yourself in a situation where you have to be with that person for too long.
2. Draw your boundaries
Be clear on what you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate. Stick with it. You have your own personal space and it's your choice to protect your space. By drawing these boundaries, even if it's just mentally, you are clearer of the kind of behaviors to expect from others. If you don't do that, it's easy for you to be pushed over by others, especially since people tend to not be conscious of personal boundaries. You'll wind up feeling like what you say doesn't matter and you wouldn't want that. For example, if this person says things that offend you but says them repeatedly, let them know. If you don't they will keep saying those things. If they do things around you that you are against, let them know and if they respect you as a person they won't engage in those activities around you.
3. Be upfront about where you stand
People aren't mind readers and sometimes they may not be aware that what they are doing is effecting you negatively. Giving the person some indicators will help. If the person does not get the hint then make a call and draw the line right there. If they do know it bothers you and they keep doing it, then they are just plain rude. They obviously don't find you important enough to take a time out from that behavior.
4. Ignore them
Sometimes that is easier said then done. However, ignoring is effective in the right moments. When you respond, you give them a reason to continue their behavior. If you just ignore them, they don't have a choice but to seek out someone else. Not only that, but it also hints to them that their behavior is something you don't want to deal with and they may take time to think about their actions.
5. Don't take it personally
Most of the time, these people behave the same way around others too. I have friends who are negative. For example, I know someone who has something to criticize whenever we are together. At first I thought she had something against me, but after I observed her interacting with our common friends, I realized she was like that with everyone else too. Realizing it wasn’t anything personal helped me deal with her objectively. This brings me back to number 4; I just ignore her.
6. Help them
Beneath their appearance is really a cry for help. Check with them if they need any help, or if there is anything you can do to help them. Sometimes, it’s possible they require help but they don’t know how to articulate it. Help them to uncover their problem, then work with them to analyze the issue and discover the solution. Some people act out as a way to get attention from others.A lot of those people think their behavior is funny and entertaining when really it's mildly embarrassing and flat out annoying. Take it down a notch, we're trying to enjoy ourselves not go home early with a headache.
Love & Pink,
Lisa
No comments:
Post a Comment